Has this ever happened to you?
You’re walking through a store or an airport, someone bumps into you, and… nothing. No eye contact. No “sorry.” No “excuse me.” Just silence and a subtle spike in your blood pressure.
I recently wrote a blog about making handwritten notes normal again (thanks, Greg Kettner!), and I couldn’t help but write a sort-of sequel. If we can revive thank-you notes, why not bring back everyday kindness?
Let’s make “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” as common as “like” and “literally.”
When you’re in someone’s way or you bump into them, just say something. Two little words—super easy to say and not that hard to pronounce.
Right now, so many of us are moving through life with frazzled nervous systems, juggling too much and connecting too little. Courtesy is more than manners—it’s micro-compassion:
It tells people, “I see you. You matter.”
Why do simple courtesies matter?
Civility expert Christine Porath has spent years studying the ripple effect of respect. Her research shows that people who feel respected at work report 56 percent higher well-being and 55 percent more engagement.
And here’s the kicker: Even witnessing rudeness can make your performance drop by as much as 30 percent.
That’s how contagious incivility is.
In a culture where everyone’s multitasking and overstimulated, those tiny acknowledgments—“excuse me,” “sorry,” “thank you”—aren’t quaint. They’re grounding. They pull us back into the moment, into empathy, into being human again.
5 quick wins: Restore simple courtesies today
- Say “Excuse Me” When You Interrupt.
Whether you’re trying to get someone’s attention, step past them, or enter a conversation, a quick “Excuse me” signals respect. It’s a pause button that keeps interactions calm and kind. - Say “Sorry” When You Bump Into Someone.
If you miss step, bump, or block someone’s path, a simple “Sorry about that” can instantly defuse tension and restore a little humanity in the process. - Make Your “Thank You” Personal.
Add a name or a smile. “Thanks, Maria” lands warmer than a quick “thanks.” Small details rebuild the sense that we’re seen, not scanned. - Offer Space Before Asking for It.
Before joining a conversation, sliding past someone, or taking a seat, pause with, “Mind if I . . .?” It’s tiny, but it turns intrusion into inclusion. - Reset When You Forget.
If you catch yourself brushing past someone or tuning them out, stop, smile, and acknowledge it: “Excuse me—sorry about that.” A reset costs nothing but gives back connection.
A book worth reading
If you’d like to dig deeper into why kindness and respect matter, check out Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace by Christine Porath. Her research makes one thing clear: the smallest gestures—eye contact, a greeting, an “excuse me”—aren’t fluff. They’re the foundation of healthy culture, stronger relationships, and lower stress.
Be positively altered (and courteous!)
Dr. Cindy M. Howard
P.S. Next up: What common courtesy should we tackle? Hit reply or email me at hello@drcindyspeaks.com. Let’s get the word out and make courtesies normal again.