Father’s Day can be a beautiful celebration of presence, protection, and love. It can also be a quiet reminder of what’s missing.
Not everyone has a picture-perfect relationship with their father. Some of us have complicated stories—ones marked by absence, silence, or disappointment. For others, it’s not about what’s missing but about doing the work of parenting solo, showing up when the other parent doesn’t. And for some, it’s about honoring someone who stepped in to play the role of a father, whether or not they shared the title.
Wherever you landed on the emotional map this year on Father’s Day, I want you to know this: You’re not alone.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to show up—not for a grand event or a picture-perfect holiday—but for the day-in, day-out moments that define real parenting. The 7 a.m. drop-offs. The encouraging text. The bedtime check-ins. The “You’ve got this” pep talks. The hard conversations that aren’t always convenient but matter the most.
I’m especially grateful when I witness men who embrace fatherhood with both heart and humility—the ones who show up not because a court told them to or because the calendar reminded them but because they choose to be present. They listen. They encourage. They model strength with softness and discipline with grace. That kind of showing up leaves a mark on a child’s nervous system; it teaches trust, builds resilience, and forms the foundation for healthy self-worth.
But I also want to speak directly to the moms who are carrying more than their share—the women balancing careers, carpools, emotions, and expectations, often with little acknowledgment and less support.
I see you.
I know the toll it can take to try and play both roles. But here’s something I’ve learned: We don’t have to be both mom and dad. We just need to be a damn good mom.
And sometimes, that’s more than enough.
We aren’t meant to fix the ones who don’t show up. And it’s not our job to replace them. Our job is to lead with love, to model presence, and to build a home where our kids feel seen and safe.
To the single parents; to the co-parents doing more than their share; to the stepparents, grandparents, aunties, and uncles who have stepped in with consistency and care, you are part of a powerful tribe: One that honors effort over ego. One that values emotional labor, not just financial contribution. One that understands showing up is the real gift.
So, this year, I hope you celebrated the dads who deserved the recognition on Father’s Day. Let’s thank the men who lead with kindness and character. But let’s also hold space for the ones navigating grief, anger, or absence. Let’s extend compassion to the women who are doing it all and doing it well. And, maybe, let’s find it in ourselves to forgive—not for them but for us—because carrying bitterness doesn’t serve the love we want to give our kids.
To all the men who show up, I hope you had a great Father’s Day. If you are someone who hasn’t shown up yet, you can start today.
Be positively altered,
Dr. Cindy
P.S. In the spirit of parenthood, check out one of my latest conversations with Dr. Brian Stenzler about raising healthy, thriving kids. We dive into his book, Dream Wellness, and explore five practice tips for helping kids make better choices!