My one hundred fifty-pound dog Walter is a runner.
Sometimes because he’s scared and other times because he just loves to run. It’s definitely not his Mastiff genes because that breed is often called lazy. It must be that Walter is part Great Dane because he could have been a wild horse in another life.
The first time he disappeared, we made flyers and searched nearby neighborhoods like we were on an episode of CSI. We launched a Facebook page so people could post sightings and we could track his whereabouts.
The inner spirit that causes Walter to jump fences and stretch those long legs got me thinking about the fight-or-flight response in all of us when we encounter danger or stressful events.
While Walter fled the first time out of fear of his new surroundings, I tend to fight when I’m faced with threatening circumstances. Perhaps the experience I had nearly ten years ago when I diagnosed myself with Hodgkin’s lymphoma reinforced that tendency.
But let’s be honest; fleeing wasn’t an option, so I had to rise to the challenge with every fiber and brain cell in my body. Because there was no way but through it, I had to gather my courage every day and choose joy, choose determination, choose to fight it my way.
No, I wasn’t Wonder Woman every day. There were crappy days and days when I wasn’t always winning. But creating change is about what you do most of the time versus when you have the occasional yips.
When you walk through something like I did, it changes you for the better if you let it. That’s why I wrote Positively Altered. You might be asking, “Is it a book about cancer or about life that happens in the in-between moments?”
The answer isn’t one or the other; it’s yes. This book is for readers who need that friendly nudge—and some laughs—to get them living larger and more authentically.
For those of you who don’t know me well yet, I’m sort of an oddball, but that’s why you’ll find my book changes the way you look at adversity. And aren’t we really all oddballs anyway? We’re all unique in our own way. The key is to step into your “differentness” and own it.
The idea of bravely owning your “differentness” makes me think of Teddy Roosevelt’s quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the person who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming…”
Roosevelt seems as if he would have been in the fight camp too, but most experts would say that the best answer to fighting or fleeing depends on your situation. Plus, there are actually two more responses to traumatic experiences beyond fight or flight.
Here’s a brief review that I like from the Human Relations Institute & Clinics (HRIC):
Fight response: These responders protect themselves from a threatening situation by fighting it or trying to exert control.
Flight response: Quite simply, these responders protect themselves from threatening events through escape.
Freeze response: If you freeze under stress, you protect yourself through dissociation or detaching from the situation.
Fawn response: Fawn types protect themselves from stressful events through placation or avoid conflict by people pleasing.
Consider coping strategies if you find that you’re choosing one of these four responses, even in nonthreatening situations.
Reflect on ways that might help you manage your overactive responses:
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- Anticipate: Experts say that it’s more important to think preventatively and intentionally about how you might respond in any given situation. These mental rehearsals will guide you when the moment strikes.
- Manage: Learn and regularly apply relaxation techniques. Engage in physical exercise and discover what your triggers are. These methods will help you manage your response to stress or trauma.
- Test: If you still find that you’re overresponding to your environment, consider getting a saliva sample to evaluate your cortisol and DHEA levels. These could be out of balance and causing your overactive state.
When one of these four responses kicks in during legitimately stressful circumstances, remember that it’s a natural survival skill. It’s your body’s way of protecting you.
We’ve all been there, and believe me, it’s not the armchair critic who comments later on how you handled the stressful event that counts. The credit belongs to you for trying, perhaps failing, and getting right back up again.
Be positively altered,
Dr. Cindy