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Do You Have 5 Key Traits to Make the Most of Life?

When you think of learning, does a classroom come to mind?

What about the experiential kind of learning? The often brief moments that happen without any formality, tuition, or a walk to school.

If you want to make the most out of life as it unfolds every day, what mindset do you need to adopt so you don’t waste a single moment?

A recent conversation I had with my Positively Altered podcast guest Stephen Coghill inspired this line of thinking. You might have noticed that I didn’t preface Stephen’s name with any titles because giving him one or two hats doesn’t suffice. He’s played a lot of roles in his life, but the one that impresses me most is him being curious.

Stephen has autism, so when he was growing up, he went to a different school from all of his friends. When they would hang out together after school, his friends would often replay the day’s events, so Stephen would feel left out of the day-to-day happenings. What made that early discomfort or feelings of being left out easier to overcome was his creativity.

He explored his curiosity by playing music, acting, miming (yes, I said miming), juggling, and anything that involved performing. “I was lucky; I grew up with a friend who was very creative as well,” said Stephen.

“As an autistic kid, I probably wouldn’t have come out the same way or come out of my shell as much if it weren’t for him,” Stephen added. Stephen’s friend had a dad who owned an electronics store, so they would try out all of the new gadgets, especially the video camera. “We would make all these ridiculous videos.”

His friend would go on to be a writer and director. Today, Stephen is in the recording business as a voice-over talent, writer, composer, and musician, working with the likes of Michael Deon, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B.

I like to think that Stephen’s curiosity and openness to the learning moments in his life led to the later success and bliss that he calls his career. Listen for more stories about his curiosity in this episode—one of which involves an encounter with the artist formerly known as Prince and is yet another example of how Stephen’s embrace of new experiences led to a connection with the artist.

According to leading mindset researcher Carol Dweck, only 40 percent of people have a growth mindset. This means the other 60 percent of people don’t have these qualities and are not likely to succeed. The good news is that curiosity and openness to new ideas and practices can be learned and nurtured over time.

Let’s take a page out of Stephen’s life and ask ourselves what specific attitudes are helpful if we want to seize learning moments as they happen. To fully benefit from learning moments, consider:

  1. Curiosity over judgment – Approach situations with a desire to understand rather than evaluate. Curiosity primes your brain to absorb new information. Are you curious about a new task or skill? Rather than sit in judgment, why not try it?
  2. Embracing discomfort – Learning often requires stepping outside of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be imperfect. What is something you can learn with a friend or colleague like Stephen did?
  3. A growth mindset – Believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and practice rather than limiting yourself. In my episode with Stephen, he talks about a potential roadblock in learning how to play the guitar.
  4. Reflective thinking – Look back on what you’ve learned after you’ve had an experience, whether it was a success or failure. Reflection helps solidify lessons and make connections to future situations.
  5. Gratitude for learning opportunities – Gratitude lets you relive the joy of learning all over again. The feelings of gratitude wash over you, and the body’s endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin restore your resilience—a three-for-one that’s hard to beat.

The next time you have an opportunity to listen to someone, experience something new, or engage in a novel approach to work, try on your curiosity and embrace the discomfort. You just might discover something new about yourself and your abilities.

Be positively altered,

Dr. Cindy M. Howard

P.S. If you loved this post, check out the episode with my guest Stephen! You can also find The Positively Altered podcast on Apple and Spotify.

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