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Casserole Boycotts, Apology-Free Menus, and Leftover Parties

Thanksgiving always conjures up memories of family time. Whether your family members are the friends you choose to surround yourself with or the relatives of your own making, this time of year is a bit wistful for me since my mom passed the week before Thanksgiving.

My mom was the consummate Thanksgiving host. She loved to cook, and we loved to eat her cooking. There was always something surprising and delicious at her table. There were no staples at my mom’s table. She opposed dishes like green bean casserole. No cream of mushroom soup in the Howard household.

One of her best traditions that we loved to celebrate was the day after Thanksgiving. She called it, “The Leftover Party.” She would invite all her friends, and everyone would bring and reheat what there wasn’t room for after second and third helpings the day before.

Everything tasted better, the mood was relaxed, and there were always extra helpings of laughter. Now I host Thanksgiving every year, and I pretty much have given up on cooking a turkey because I can’t stand pulling the gizzards out. I’ve even broken the neck of a turkey trying to brine it.

Like my mother, I don’t do the traditional Thanksgiving foods. I always prepare unusual vegetable dishes and fun things that have nothing to do with green bean casseroles. Plus I hate stuffing, so you’ll never find it at my table.

You’ve heard me say that you have to live your life and make choices that honor who you are rather than try to live up to someone else’s ideal of what might be acceptable. My mother’s version of the Thanksgiving holiday and now my table are no different. They reflect what’s important to us without any apologies.

We need to have more Leftover Parties in our lives, where everything tastes better and there’s more laughter. We need to establish our own traditions that make Thanksgiving more meaningful to us personally. Forty-four percent of people surveyed said they would be trying a new dish other than turkey this year, so I’m not alone in my advice.

As for guests at your table, consider who might appreciate an invitation. What’s one or two more place settings when you consider how much the gesture might mean to someone?

And if there’s an empty seat at the table in your mind, and you’re missing someone dear to you, let Thanksgiving be a reminder to laugh more, retell some of their bad jokes, and make some extra food so there’s enough for a Leftover Party.

I’m confident that you’ll be surprised by how many friends show up to share your company and soak in the afterglow of a day focused on gratitude.

Be positively altered,

Dr. Cindy

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